I have a horrible time waking up.
For years now, I have probably slept more in the nine minute intervals of the snooze setting of my alarm clock than I have at night. I will often hit that button for several hours and fall into a dead sleep in the brief minutes in between the blaring screaming electronic beeps.
I can't seem to sleep because my mind races at night. Even if I push myself to exhaustion and I pass weary and tired and I'm near to falling over, when my head hits the pillow I don't sleep. I worry. I fret. I daydream. I hope. I wonder. I wish. I imagine. I plan. I remember. But sleep is a rare visitor.
It's not insomnia. It is possible for me to sleep for hours if I'm not feeling well or if I nod off while watching a movie. I can lay down and drift right off if it is the middle of the day or even the morning. It is just the night that makes sleep elusive.
My mom had the same problem. She could function on tiny moments of sleep caught in the daylight or while drinking one of her multiple cups of coffee. I would call her when I was in college at three A.M. and she would be wide awake and ready to hear about anything that was happening. In the middle of the night she would be curled up with a book on the sofa. She rarely spent time in the bedroom she shared with my dad unless she was changing clothes or looking for her glasses since she would leave them there when she took a shower. I don't remember her ever setting an alarm. She just always seemed to be awake. Even when she was napping she could answer questions, tell you where you left your book and knew if you were full of beans. If you asked her for a million dollars she would say "I'm sleeping and clearly you have me confused with someone else because my last name is not Warbucks".
I have learned to love those little nine minute naps. If I don't hit the snooze alarm at least three times I feel out of sorts for the rest of the day. They say that if you can get a 17 minute period of rest you have entered the REM sleep stage and can wake fully refreshed. I think that I've learned to weave in and out of sleep so seamlessly and hit the button that gives me a few more precious minutes with such ease that I must get all my recharging done in this odd little hodgepodge of stolen minutes. I hit the snooze nine times after my nap this afternoon. I'm practically charged until Thanksgiving
I hope all of you are having a great Saturday and that you'll wake in the morning ready to hop out of bed and hit the ground running. I'll meet you. I'll just set my alarm for three hours earlier than I need to meet you and I'll catch a whole charge in between the beeps.
Much love to you all. Love and sleep.