My mom...

      My sister had to step in and take my mother's car keys, cash and credit cards away today.  I feel bad for  both of them.  I have been really under the weather for the past few days and there has been lots of family drama to feed the ill feelings as there always seems to be when I get feeling poorly.  If I'm down I always wait for the kick because I know it is coming.

      On Monday the home my father is in caught on fire.  It wasn't really serious but it took them forever to respond because of the parade and the huge shindig that is "Buhl Day on Labor Day" which happens in my home town.  The residents in the wing that had been filled with smoke were transferred to my Dad's wing and they wouldn't allow visitors in or out which caused a ton of anxiety for my Dad.  Then, today, my sister was told by several neighbors and employees at the home that my mother's driving had really become dangerous and erratic and that she was going to be harmful to herself and others if she retained her license.  Also she had been giving money away and giving food and rides to people who were out to take advantage of her.  My sister had to step in.

     I remember this stage in my Aunt Nunny's Alzheimer's experience better than I care to.  I remember the one day we found my Aunt in the park by her home holding a large "cobblestone" bread that was intended for the ducks that she had been given by a man in the park who thought she had nothing to eat.  I felt helpless to see my Aunt desperately clinging to this stale, moldy round of dinner rolls.  I felt terrible for the man who tried to help her by letting her take the food for the ducks and mostly I felt for my mother who was left in charge of a woman who was losing her mind.  Now my sister is the woman in that position and my mother is losing her mind.  I don't think I could deal with the pressure my sister is now under, and I don't think I want to live long enough to have my mind ravaged by this illness.  I feel just as helpless and it isn't a good feeling.

       I hope that all of you appreciate the health and sanity of yourselves and you loved ones while you can.  Much love to all of you.