Sunday, June 21, 2015

Since I've Been Gone

Writing a little something on my blog everyday occasionally felt like therapy, but more often than not felt stressful and trying.  The effort to be interesting and entertaining was fun when I had things to write about and share, but there were times when what I wanted to talk about was at odds with what I felt comfortable putting in front of an audience, even if they were comprised of folks who barely knew me out in cyber land.  

Things happened that didn't feel so good.  I went to a really negative place and decided that nothing I had to say was worth the effort to write it down.  I visit that place a lot.  I've grown to recognize it and have built the bitter walls up pretty high so I can hide behind them.  It isn't a happy place to live and I tend to get lost in it at times.  

It's like walking with a rock in your shoe.  You either stop everything, take off the shoe and shake it out or you bitch about how much it's bothering you as you deal with it.  Eventually you're so used to the annoyance you either decide you deserve it since you're too lazy or too incapable of dealing with it or you just stop walking so it doesn't annoy you anymore, but you also aren't going anywhere.  I wasn't going anywhere.  Honestly I think that I spend much of my time bitching about that rock still, but I'm moving so that's something.  Maybe the rock is smaller.  Perhaps I've worn it down or it worked its way out and I'm just so used to complaining I whine as a comfort.  

This is me stopping and shaking out the shoe. 

You'll be hearing more from me.  I'll be around.  Hopefully in motion, and not hiding.

If you see me sitting by the side of the road and I'm not headed anywhere or I'm staring at an upside down shoe while hopping barefoot, you might want to holler some encouragement.  Friends are things I need more of.  Walking alone sucks.

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