Television's Guilty Pleasures

I watch crap TV.

I watch good TV too, and even some great TV, but I watch a lot of shows that don't change me for the better or impact my life in ways that are meaningful.   They don't even teach me how to handle a zombie or enlighten me of the trials of managing a large estate in England in the 1920's in case there is an apocalypse or time travel suddenly becomes possible.

These shows are a waste of time.  They're mindless fluff that allow me to zone out or  laugh or cry or be outraged or just stare.  Sometimes they let me sleep.  They fill my DVR and they can be deleted to make room for the "real shows" I love without too much angst.

But they make me madly, blissfully happy sometimes too.  I might be loathe to admit my love for them, but it is a tangible emotion.

Here are three I will admit too.  If you hate them, that's ok.  Sometimes I do too.  If you love them but don't want to stand up and be numbered, your secret is safe with me.

#1 Girls - HBO

There are times that this show captures the way I felt as a twenty-something so perfectly that I sit and rewind scenes over and over again as a reminder of my past.  There are times when I want to kick some of the characters in the teeth for their ridiculous and unbelievable selfishness (mostly Marnie) and stupidity (mostly Hannah) and general cringe worthy antics  (mostly everybody).  I hate how manipulative the show is as a whole and I wonder each time why I'm watching it.  If I'm being completely honest Adam Driver is a huge reason.  His giant gawky awkward presence makes me giddy.  I hope to high heaven he's the one holding the new sword hilt light saber because I want an action figure of him.  He is a great example of how one actor can keep a whole show alive season after season.

#2 The Bachelor - ABC

I don't watch every season of this.  I can go a year or more forgetting it's on and wonder at who the heck the people on Dancing With the Stars are to find they were a previous season's bachelor or bachelorette and be completely unaware it was even on.  When I get involved in a season though, look out.  I love the drama, the tears, the roses, the engagement rings the size of a paperweight.  I love the fact that a small town Iowa farmer is allowed to publicly date a harem and pretend one of the girls he meets is going to be on the passenger side of his tractor for all his days.  I like to laugh at the nut jobs and fictitious virgins.  I like to hate on the guy who breaks up with the girl he chose in favor of the runner up.  I love to cry with the rejects that head home in the limo who decided after spending approximately three hours of shared "alone time" with the show's headliner that they were the clear choice and the person who sent them packing is missing out.  This year I hope Chris winds up with Britt or the girl he crashed the wedding with last night.  I can't remember her name but I love that she rescripted the episode on a whim and that she insisted on taking the wedding couple a gift.  That's as classy as the Bachelor ever gets.

#3 Dance Moms - Lifetime

I can say in all honesty that I began watching this show because a friend of mine from college actually works at this dance studio and taught the girls.  Although it was a personal connection that caught my attention, I was rapt from the first episode when the moms sent their kids onstage dressed like mini hookers.  Even for dance wear, those booty short/bra top ensembles were tarty, and so began my love/hate relationship with Abby Lee Miller and Dance Moms.  I love the talented kids, but if I'm being truthful I fast forward through the boring repetetive choreography and just watch the momma drama.  I have loved watching these girls transform into real dancers and their moms into real lunatics.  I miss Chloe.  I miss her mom Christi more.  I secretly (really not so secretly) want Dr. Holly to stomp Abby at some point until Abby admits that she doesn't teach so much as torment.  I also want it known that although Kendall is a lovely girl, she is not and never will be a member of the "original group" although her mom says she is every week.  I think they forget the entire season where Abby cut her and added her 100 times.  Even Vivi has a greater claim to original group member and she is the daughter of Abby's arch nemesis.  I love Cathy too.  I hope she doesn't lose her husband's beef jerky business by hiring every professional choreographer the country holds.  But if she does I hope they film it.

What are your favorite shows that you can't believe you watch?  What guilty TV pleasures balm your soul?