Thanks WalMart Beauty Box, For Making Me Feel Old

If you're over 30, the Wal-Mart beauty box lets you know you can just give up.  It really depressed me today to see all the girls of Instagram opening their boxes and getting lovely full size lip glosses and liquid lip sticks while I got stuff for my vast aging problems.  Then again I am clearly no longer a girl.  I'm an owner of "mature beauty".

Nearly all of the beauty subscription boxes that offer a beauty quiz or customization will send the trendiest makeup products to the youngest clients.  I get that.   I just didn't realize filling out a quiz with my actual age would get me a penalty box.  "We're sorry you're past your prime love, no lipstick for you."

The Wal-Mart Beauty Box has declared me old and uncool.  I need to sit at home and nurse my dry, aging skin with serums and creams to combat all my wrinkles.  The women slightly younger than me get to do it in lipstick, but I am too ancient for color on my lips.  It would probably just feather out anyway into all those fine lines.  I can take makeup off with the makeup remover cloths they sent because clearly I have to use so much spackle to hold my crumbling visage together that I need to be extra gentle when taking it off.  Thank goodness I can perfect my skin's tone with the included Olay product since all those age spots are so unflattering.

I can also use the shampoo foil packets they've provided for my color treated hair because there is no way I could go in public with all the grey showing.  Thanks for reminding me I also need to address the volume situation since my hair is getting so thin in my twilight years - not to be confused with my Twilight years because I definitely can't enjoy young adult novels anymore.  My eyesight is too bad for that since I'm so very aged.

 They've sent along items for that crepey, papery skin on the rest of my body as well.  They were sure to put some cocoa butter in there too because all old women have stretch marks.  We've spread out from being on the planet for so many years.  SO many years....

The one thing they didn't think through was the foil packet situation.  Clearly I no longer have the dexterity to open these.  I may have had it once, many moons ago when I was young and my lips were slick with gloss.  Back then I was able to scent my wrists with perfumes like the other pretty girls.  Clearly old bats like me don't want to smell nice and haven't been dying to try the newest Flower beauty fragrance.  Only young beautiful girls would want that.  I can content myself to the scent of night creams and muscle rub for my poor aching bones.

I guess I should make the most of my beauty box with the time I have left.  I just wish that this month the $5 shipping fee didn't bring me an overwhelming reminder of how I'm spending it desperately clutching on to the glittery bygone days of my youth.  I'm going to go drown my sorrows in a glass of wine that I've been able to drink legally for longer than many of the Instagram beauties have been alive.

Ugh.

Ipsy December 2014 Glam Bag

This month's Ipsy bag didn't seem too exciting at first, but I actually really like the products I received.  The bag is cute and is my favorite shape of all the bags they send out.  My favorite Ipsy bag ever was also a December bag that was a silvery grey satin that was shaped like this one.  This one will likely end up in my purse before long.

There were 5 products, two of which are full sized.  They included:

Cailyn Just Mineral Eye Polish in Orchid
Nyx Butter Lip Balm in Marshmallow
tarte Lights, Camera Lashes Mascara
BWC (Beauty Without Cruelty) 3% AHA cleanser
Sexy Hair 450 Blow out heat protector spray

The Cailyn Just Mineral Eye Polish in Orchid was a huge hit for me.  I love the rosy gold shade and I think I am going to wear it to my husband's Christmas party on Thursday.  I wore it along with Sin, Sidecar and Polyester Bride from the Urban Decay Book of Shadows IV palette today for work.  The Cailyn shadow blends really well and is subtly shimmery.  I love the applicator and the presentation of the loose shadow in a clean, convenient package.  I also wore the Nyx Butter Lip balm and would love to get this in a different shade.  It feels great on, and has a berry flavor.  It is really moisturizing and adds a light wash of a peachy nude color.  I think the shade I received washes me out a bit, and would've preferred a berry tone but I still like it.  I'm wearing both in the picture below.

 I should've tried the tarte mascara too, but I was using the L'Oreal Butterfly mascara from a past Target Beauty Box after talking about it in a post a few days back.  I always seem to like mascara after it has been open for a week or so.  I think when the formula is too wet I have problems making it look natural.  My friend Alison said the tarte mascara is her favorite and she found it by asking for a "totally unnatural" formula in Sephora.  I haven't liked tarte mascara in the past because the type in the gold packaging is very flaky, but I will be giving this a shot this week.

The BWC cleanser reminds me very much of a cleanser by the Freeman brand called  Eclos.  I love that face wash and use it often with my Clairisonic, so I will use this as well.  I'm not sure where you can buy this brand but I haven't been able to find the Eclos on the shelves recently, so hopefully this can replace it if it has been discontinued.  The only thing that was a miss for me in this bag is the hair product.  I very rarely use heat to style my hair, and this spray smells really coconutty which I don't think I would enjoy the scent of if it lingered.  I'm sure I will try it when I use my flat iron and hope it will add shine without having the fragrance sticking around to haunt me.

I definitely got my $10 value this month and I would love to get some more Nyx and Cailyn products eventually if there are good offers on the Ipsy site.

I am writing this late tonight because I was making breast cancer awareness ribbons for the guys in Andy's workplace.  Two of the women who work in their office are having masectomies in the next few weeks.  The guys wanted to show them support at the company Christmas party and so Andy bought pink satin ribbon to make into these lapel pins for them.  As I was sealing the edges and folding them they started falling into a heart shape and I thought it was very pretty.  I hope the girls recover quickly and return to work in the new year cancer free and pain free.   Much love to you folks.  Thanks for reading!

For The Sake Of Clarity - I Wish You Joy

If you wish me a merry Christmas, I will say thank you and wish you the same.

If you tell me you hope I have a happy holiday, I will give you my thanks and tell you that I hope you have one too.

If you wave and smile and shout "season's greetings!" at me from across a crowded shopping mall I will yell "Thanks!  Right back at you!"

If you offer me a shalom or express your desire that I have a beautiful Hanukkah, I will wish that peace and beauty be with you as well and thank you for the sentiment (although if you write it down I will be concerned that I spelled it wrong because the sometimes with a C and sometimes with an H thing throws me a bit).

If you're a Seinfeld fan and you want me to have an awesome Festivus, I will tell you of my gratitude and smile while telling you that you ought to have an awesome one too.

If you wish me a blessed Kwanzaa I will happily let you know the wish is returned and that I am thankful for it.

If you want me to have a Yule that's cool, I will gratefully accept your well wishes and hope yours is super cool also.

If you say Buon Natale, Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noel, Frolhe Weihnachten, or speak to me in a language that is not my own and wish me happiness, I will do my level best to send you the appropriate gratzi, gracias, merci, or danke, and tell you in my native English tongue that I wish you the very same.

If you hope Santa is good to me this year, I will thank you and tell you I really hope your name is right next to mine on the nice list.

If you skip right ahead to next year and wish me a happy and healthy 2015, I will give you an early wish for your prosperity in the coming year and thank you for your kindness.

Have blessings for me this winter?  Awesome.  Thank you.  May you be blessed in return.

Want to send me some holiday cheer or general good vibes?  I like those too.  I'm grateful for your thoughts and hope we can bask in their glow together.

Any wishes of love and joy that you could possibly send my way are things I am grateful for.  I truly, from the bottom of my heart wish that everyone I know (and everyone I don't know for that matter) experiences joy every day.  Not just in these few weeks, but all the time.

Want me to fuck right off?  Forgive me for not returning that particular sentiment.  I won't thank you for it either, but I will still wish you well.

I send all of you my love and hope that whatever you believe, and however you choose to express yourself and your heart, you know that I am here thinking of you.  I am grateful our lives have touched in some small way and wish you all the magic and goodness that these days hold.  I wish you joy my friends.  All the joy.

XO

A Most Delicious Dessert Disaster

I finally found the tipping point where the rum ball mix becomes impossible to form into rum balls.

I didn't think it was possible to add too much rum.  It seems counterintuitive that adding more of what makes something delicious could be bad.  Am I right, or possibly just a tad irresponsible in my treatment of alcohol as the perfect ingredient in a sugary treat?

Apparently when you add 5 Tablespoons of rum to a milk chocolate base, you get an incredibly satiny, smooth mixture that even after 2 hours of chilling wants to be anything other than a ball.  I could freeze it and try to wake up at 3AM so I could form it into balls that were mainly coaxed together with granulated sugar, that must be eaten the second they left the fridge so they wouldn't become puddles of rum.  It's been done before, but it isn't fun.  It often results in a sugary high that ends in a wicked crash which I'm not really into, beings that I tend to sample them a little more often to make sure the consistency is right.

I could also have left them in the pan and just given out spoons.  I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be too many complaints.  Once at Target I just took in a box of vanilla wafers and told them it was cookie dip.   That idea came up too.

But then, my super smart husband said "why don't you make cupcakes and frost them with it"?  He should've known my reaction would be telling him I was far too lazy for that nonsense, but he did give me a good idea.

I found a foil pan and grabbed family size brownie mix I just bought last week.

Then I melted the unballable rum balls on the top to form a perfectly fudgey, rummy, yummy in the tummy layer of goodness on top.

Now all I need is a name.

And the willpower to not eat them before I get to work tomorrow.

By the way, don't ever start watching Ancient Aliens on The History Channel while you are waiting for brownies to bake.  It will blow your mind and make you worry you're being watched by the green men.  It's freaky-deaky and it's not the run talking!

A Decorating Mishap

So I had the wonderful idea of putting my Christmas village in the display cases we have downstairs.  I got my first (and favorite) house out and plugged it in and set it on the glass shelf, and this happened...

Thankfully the tree was already decorated or I would've said screw it and quit everything.  Even though the house was okay, and it was just the glass shelves which are the most replaceable bit, I cried.  I was sure Andy was going to be irritated that he wasted his time painting the wall for me to do nothing with it, even though he told me to just slide the door shut and relax and not worry about it.  Eventually it looked like this...

but that was after a very tearful hour of irritation that absolutely nothing about decorating has gone well this year.  I've officially given up.  There will be no second tree and if it isn't out of a box and sitting out somewhere it ain't happening.

I did manage to get the tree done but it doesn't have any of the silver or crystal ornaments on it this year because I just wasn't feeling it.  It makes me sad when I don't care about decorating which is my favorite part of Christmas.

Here's the tree with about a third of the ornaments I usually put on it...

It is an all new color theme this year, but I honestly couldn't figure out how I got the star to stay on the top and so I gave up on that too.  It just wasn't my day.

To complete my "I give up" day I spent it in the pajama pants Andy got me.  They are really ill fitting and kept sliding down off my butt all day, so if you would've been at my house you would've been treated to a crying girl who was half mooning you because she was too lazy to take off the cat's pajamas.

Poor Andy.  I'm sure on days like these he wishes he would've married someone normal.  I hope your weekend is going better than mine!

Target Beauty Box For Her - Winter 2014

I am really loving the new Target Beauty promotions.  In the past Target gave away free bags of beauty samples in the Target sample spot portion of Target.com.  They often had deluxe size samples of drugstore brands and came loaded with coupons, foil packets and travel size beauty goodies all for free.  They were packed in small cosmetic bags similar to the Ipsy service.  The bags were coveted and hard to come by and I was lucky to score them on three different occasions.

When Target changed their platform and began charging for the boxes I wasn't sure I was excited about it.  I intentionally passed on one that had a Venus razor in it because I had just received one of the same razors in the mail for free from Proctor and Gamble from a Twitter promotion and I wasn't feeling the value of the box.  I did pick up the first box and a later version, one at $5 and one at $7.  Both had at least five featured products, and the last one had a Nyx eye pencil and a L'Oreal lip product I fell in love with.  They proved to be a great value and I basically got the boxes for free when I redeemed the included coupons for my Blush Mystery Beauty Box subscription.

I was really excited that Target released its latest boxes for the holidays.  I would've loved to have scored the other two boxes as well (a naturals box I would've used as a gift and a men's box for Andy, both priced at $5), but I am thrilled with the product selection in this box.  The Target Beauty for her was a steal at $10 and included several well known brands and a few new to me products that I'm excited to use.  Next time I will have to be quicker to order because within a two hour window all of the "for him" and "naturals" boxes had been snapped up by other shoppers.

 

The box itself was printed with the Target Beauty logos of the Target bullseye made from nail polish, lipstick, blush and other cosmetics as well as gold snowflakes.

The following full size products were featured:

Hair Food Thickening Hair treatment by Clairol
L'Oreal Butterfly Voluminous Intenza Mascara in black
Revlon HD pigment lip gloss in Smokey Quartz
Covergirl Eyeshadow quad in Natural Nudes
Chapstick Total Hydration lip balm in Sweet  Peach

Also included were deluxe samples of:

Laneige Water Sleeping Mask
Pixi Endless Silky Eye Pen in Ebony

And a foil packet of:

No 7 Advanced Skin Serum by Boots

There were also three coupons.  20% off a women's clothing purchase at Target, $3 off a $15 beauty purchase at Target and a $10 Dermstore/Blush.com gift code.

I will use all three of the coupons on winter clearance and get even better deals since they are good until the end of February, and I'm anxious to use all of the box contents with the exception of the mascara.  I just opened the L'Oreal Butterfly mascara that was included in a previous Target Beauty Box and I am very put off by its heavy rose fragrance.  I will trade or gift this one.  The Revlon lip gloss was comfortable, smooth and not at all sticky and I lucked out with a great shimmery nude color.  I wish the applicator was a doe foot style rather than a brush but it worked fine and I love the jeweled cap of the package.  The eye shadow palette is also perfect for me and I'm really glad I got the Hair Food product for fine hair.  The other option was a conditioning mask that I think may have been a little heavy for my hair type.

Here is a photo showing both Hair Food options, and some other color options on the cosmetics.

I love this box and I can't wait for the Spring edition.  I hope I can score one.  I will try and post as soon as I see it listed if you're interested in trying to nab one next time!

Hope you all have an awesome weekend.  I am SO EXCITED I get to sleep in tomorrow.  Woohoo!  No work, but that means all the more for Monday.  Hopefully tomorrow I'll get some things done!

BareMinerals Beauty Surprise Mystery Box December 2014 Reveal!

The mailman hates me because I get all the cool stuff.  The UPS guy hates me too, but hey, they won't be out of work if they have to deliver all my free books and super awesome beauty buys!  I am pretty certain I saw a snarky gleam in the mail delivery guy's eye as he pulled away after dropping off a package he forgot at the end of his route, but that one was my husband's fault.  He bought me a book!  If you have ever heard him complain about how he got me a Kindle so I wouldn't have 1000 books laying around for him to trip over you would've had a heart attack like I did.  It looks amazing and it will get its own post soon.

On to what you're here for!

The contents of the BareMinerals Beauty Surprise Box!  I have been trying to nab one of these mystery boxes from BareMinerals for ages.  They make the only foundation I use and they also have great products all around.  I love the "Crystallized" set I bought myself for Christmas last year that had the Hypnotist lip gloss in it, and I'm thrilled that this year's gift I gave to me was one of the coveted mystery boxes!

Here's a look at the contents

The box cost $45 and had a promised value of  $187.  I was able to snag one thanks to Liz's post at the My Subscription Addiction website and fast fingers while I was on a break last week!  These are sold out now, but there will likely be another in the spring, so be on the lookout.

The breakdown they emailed me a few days ago spoiled the surprises a bit but I was pleased to see that so many of the products were eye shadows.  I was particularly happy to see the 5in1 cream eye shadows in the box because I really wanted some after I received a sample sized one in an Ipsy bag a few months back.  I kept putting it off because they are pricey at $18 a pop.  The way I see it if I would've broken down and purchased two for myself at Ulta I would've spent $36 anyhow, so the rest of the box's items were less than $1 each!  (Haha - I love the way I justify beauty steals, don't you?) 

Here is the product list from the email

1 67871 5in1 Cream E/S Duo Chamomile/Ginger(O1)
1 70049 SoftSweepCheekBrush(G3)w/rosegold handle
1 51715 BM FDVolumizingMascara-Black(no box)(G1)
1 48664 Chocolate Big&Bright Eyeliner w/Box-O1
1 48875 S Mineral Veil PF .75g (G1)
1 45439 4oz Brush Conditioning Shampoo (Tube)
1 53000 2pc HighShine Duo Q-Goldmedal&Meteor (O1
1 58957 4PM RTC WP Eyeliner(G1)-no box USA
1 70258 READY E/S 2.0 Top Shelf (G1) v2-NOBOX P
1 70045 SoftFocusFaceBrushw/MatteBlackHandle(G3)

The brush shampoo was much larger than I expected.  It will last me forever!  

The brushes are incredibly teddy bear-like in their softness.  The black handled brush had a crease in the center of the bristles from the way it was smooshed in the box, but I'm sure it will relax as I use it.

The Ginger color of the 5in1 shadows is in the lower left and the Chamomile above it. I like both of these nude shades and will use them daily.  I think they must've been packaged for QVC or something because the bubble mailer they were in had the BareMinerals logo on it and I don't see these colors online.

The 4PM Round the Clock waterproof eyeliner is pointing to the bottom left and is a purple shade.  The other eyeliner was a brightening liner  in chocolate brown.

The duo in the compact is a lovely peach shade and a bronzey taupe.  I love the pigmentation of the ready shadows.

I was almost out if mineral veil so I was glad to see a small sized one included.

I could take or leave the mascara.  I already have one of these and it isn't my favorite simply because the brush is huge and I get more on my cheek than I do on my lower lashes.  It's user error though.

The high shine eye duo was two sparkling cream shadow shades that had enclosed applicators.  The meteorite shade is a gorgeous rosy color that I can't wait to wear tomorrow.  

I will likely gift the mascara, but everything else was a huge win for me and well worth the $45.  I will use the eye products daily and I am thrilled to have some nice new brushes too.  

I hope the next time they run one of these I see it in time to pick up another.  The last time they did a surprise box was back in April and it had tons of lip products in it and a few highlighters as well.  I'm glad I got this one and I hope you were able to snag one on the second when they went live!

Hope you all are having a lovely week.  Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday (although technically I have to work on Saturday too - meh).  Between this, my Blush box and the Target Beauty Box I am going to be set!